Improve Your Internal Dialog
What would you do if a friend called you an idiot? How would you respond if you were about to do something and a complete stranger said to you “you are going to fail, why bother”. I bet your response would be something like “you can’t talk to me like that, who the heck do you think you are?”
Yet many people talk to themselves in this very manner. We all have an internal voice that we converse and debate with on a fairly constant basis. We silently ask ourselves “is this the right decision”, “should I try this or shouldn’t I” and sometimes when we make mistakes we say things like “your so stupid” or “that was a stupid thing to do”.
Think back and try to remember the last positive thing you said to yourself. Do you remember saying “I did a good job on that”, “today is going to be a good day” or “I can do this!” it’s probably not that easy to remember because the internal dialog for most of us is more critical than supportive. The good news is you can learn to change it!
Decide to consciously monitor your internal dialog by simply stating out loud “over the next few days I am going to notice what I say to myself”, stating this out loud will help you begin the process of becoming more aware of what you are saying to yourself.
When you catch yourself saying something like, “I can’t do this”, take the time to re-state it, perhaps by saying “how can I learn to do this”. When you change the statement into a question, your unconscious mind will begin looking for the answer to your question.
When you ask the question in a more positive way, you’ll get a more positive answer. For example, you could ask “how can I learn to do this and enjoy the process”. This is a question that doesn’t give a lot of room for a negative answer.
When we train ourselves to ask questions with a positive expectation, it can be surprising how quickly our unconscious mind will allow the negative stuff to fade away and the positive stuff to begin to come through automatically. Keep noticing the negative stuff and re-stating it in a positive way and one day soon, when you would have normally said to yourself “why does this always happen to me” you’ll find yourself saying something like “how can I prevent this from happening again and enjoy the change”.
When self doubt comes up through your internal dialog with statements like “I can’t do that” you can also acknowledge your internal voice by simply saying “thanks for sharing” and then do it anyway! Your internal voice wants to have a say, but that doesn’t mean you always have to do what it says! Simply acknowledge the message (so you are not ignoring it!) and then move on. Remember, everyone is afraid at one time or another, but successful people typically ACT in spite of it!
Re-stating messages in a positive way is a very powerful way to deal with self doubt and negative internal dialog. So give yourself a break and be more gentle with yourself, you deserve it! You have the power within you to take control of your internal dialog; after all it’s all yours!
About the author: Alan Crossley, C.Ht is a Master Hypnotist and NLP Practitioner. He is a certified member of the NGH and provides hypnosis downloads through his site at www.hypnosisdownloads.org